chronicle of life

Out of my mind for AC

2009-03-16T19:10:00.001-07:00

Haven't done such crazy thing for some time. Since I graduated from AC I think? N now AC is the reason I did the crazy thing.

After contemplating for a long time, I decided not go back to AC because I would only spend a day in AC and it is not worth it. However, just after I have decided not go back and planning to tell Han that I'm going to D.C with him, a cheap offer came up. Man, I can't resist that! I started thinking about going back again. Under Stephen's influence and the rushing of hormone, I felt the impulse. I bought the ticket on Thursday night 11.50p.m. and flew to U.K on Fri 8p.m.

I don't regret coming back. It was great to see people again. It was so surreal, as if I have never left the place before. Wherever I went, memories flashed into my mind. The beast garden, seafront, blue garden, Dyfed, carrel unit, the castle, arts centre, music department, macross.

Good times. I love it. Nostalgia hit me again though I'm not that emotional. It's still my place. Just not my time anymore.

Field Trip

2009-01-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

This happened on 8th of Dec. 2008

Our car drove into the parking lot and came to a halt. Prof. Westerman or Bill, to avoid any suspicion, asked me if I wanted to talk to a Tibetan who spoke Mandarin. As I wanted to interact with someone close to my continent, I accepted. His name was Jampa Dhargyal. We went into the detention center after we were informed by Mike that it was not too crowded in there. The detention center looked like a dull, lifeless factory and it was heavily secured by fences and cameras.

The waiting room was not big and there were only sixteen seats, two vending machines and a reception. I took a number, sat down and observed the room. When I saw a poster which announced the vision and mission of the detention center or of, rather as the way the authority put it, “adult correction center”, I felt uneasy and annoyed for the phrase “adult correction” was so condescending. Megan told me that “adult correction” was normally used in the US as euphemism for “prison.” The usage of such phrase implies that the refugees detained are somewhat “wrong” or “bad” and they should be “corrected.” It was insulting and hypocritical, I thought. I recalled quickly a newspaper article which reported that U.S gained 30 billion dollars by importing weaponry to conflicted countries and sometimes to both opposing parties of a conflict. By doing so, U.S (and countries like China and Russia) are fuelling conflicts and indirectly contributed to the force migration of many refugees. Then they resentfully detained them. A good way to “correct” their contribution, I thought.

When my number was called, I presented my passport and a verification letter from Princeton and told them I wanted to visit Jampa. The female officer examined my documents and when she saw Bill standing beside me, she asked sarcastically, “You’re in charge of bringing them here, aren’t you?” The officer gave me a visitor badge and I went in to the screening room. Then, a door opened and there was a small transit space before I entered the next door which led to the visiting area. The visiting area was enclosed by soundproof glasses and walls. There were a few attorney-visiting room and I saw detainees discussing about their cases with their attorneys in the rooms. The weeping family members further gloomed the room. The mood contrasted with the colorful painting of United States and Status of the Liberty on the wall.

While I was waiting for Jampa, I spoke to a Sri Lankan and a Tibetan. The Sri Lankan was in his fifties and he was amiable. We talked about Malaysia, my parents, university life, his family and his life. I was told that his wife and daughter were in New York and to my surprise, he preferred to talk to them over the phone than to meet them in the visiting area. I was unsure if it was appropriate to ask him why and I wondered if he was embarrassed to let them see him in that state. From our conversation, I gathered some information about the life in Elizabeth. Numbers of detainees were counted at 6am, 8am, 1pm, 4pm, 8pm and 12am everyday and nobody was allowed to move during the counting. Meals were provided at 7am, 12pm and 5pm. When asked about the quality of the food, he replied, “I don’t care so much about the food. I care about freedom. That’s what matters to me.” I asked him why he didn’t choose to go to Canada as his sister was there and he said he would apply to Canada if his case in US fails. Bill later told me that his case has failed at the Federal Court and BA and once his daughter get a degree, he would not care about asylum-seeking anymore and would return to Sri Lanka.

The next person who I spoke to was a Tibetan, a friend of Jampa. He could speak little English but sometimes I could hardly comprehend him due to his unclear pronunciation. He told me that the officers would get angry at him occasionally because of his incompetence in English. He had a wife in India and he had been in India since he was young. He could not return to China as he did not have a passport and he would be imprisoned or even killed. “I thought US is good…so I came here.” He came to the US with a fake Nepalis passport and when he arrived at the airport, the immigration officer detected his fake passport and detained him. “It’s no[t] good here,” he replied when asked about the condition in the detention center. He had been in the detention center for thirteen (or eighteen) months. His application for asylum has failed the first time and he was appealing. I thought that he was in a disadvantage position to seek asylum as he did not have a lawyer and he did not speak much of English. We chatted about his family, India and Malaysia while we were waiting for the counting –which had lasted for an hour at the time—to end.

It was already an hour since I had entered the visiting area but I have not seen Jampa. When I asked the female officer for Jampa, she notified me that my request was not registered in the computer. She then called for Jampa and after ten minutes, an Asian looking man entered the visiting room. His features especially his nose resembled those of people from Mongolia, Xingjia and of course, Tibet. We sat down and picked up the phone. “This is the first time I am speaking to someone [from outside] since I came here…I asked my friends why someone wants to speak to me but they did not know,” he said, “Thank you for talking to me.”

My heart sunk when he told me that his father was killed by the Chinese authority and he had to flee Tibet, leaving his mother and sister behind. His mum did not know about his detention because he could not contact them as there was no basic infrastructure like telephones in his village. In a way, I could feel and understand his anxiousness and homesickness. Even if he could contact his mum, would he ever tell her that he was in the detention center-- news which could make an aging mum, who was a few thousand kilometers away, worried and upset? His village was extremely rural. By motorbike, it required seven days and a day to travel to Lhasa and Cheng Du Sheng respectively. He was thirty-five years old and he had never been to school. Thus he was illiterate both in Mandarin and Tibetan, let alone English. “What are you hoping to do now?” I asked. “I hope that I can stay here…if I go back to China, I will be caught or killed.” I remained silence for I knew that he was in a hard situation for asylum-seeking due to his illiteracy and lack of legal representative.

I was struck when he told me that he had been to India and Malaysia. I was a bit doubtful because, frankly speaking, it is hard for an illiterate person to obtain traveling visa and to travel in today’s world. What did he do when he had to fill in the immigration form upon his arrival at Malaysia? I did not get to ask him as I only realized this after our conversation. Besides his travel experience, his positive attitude struck me too. He told me that at least the condition in Elizabeth detention center was better than that in the prisons in China and at least he got clothes and enough food. I could not imagine the situation of the detention center in China. Perhaps he was still optimistic as he had not been there long.

Throughout my conversations with these three men, I never failed to mention or discuss about religion with them. I felt that that was the most things I could do to lighten them. To the Sri Lankan man, I told him that God would never give up on him. To the Tibetan, I told them that their good deeds would serve them good in the future for Karma never fails. After talking in person to those whose lives were displaced, I felt humbled and helplessness. The Tibetans’ cases strike me a lot and I realized the harsh disadvantage that illiterate or less-educated people had to suffer due to the strict immigration policy. How are they going to present a testimony which consists of the essential 3Cs: chronology, corroboration and consistency? How are they going to convince the asylum officer or judge? Besides that, I started to wonder if all this disorders and sufferings were inevitable or could be avoided. I cannot help but to feel that as if the world and society are going in the direction parallel to what the Law of Thermodynamics states: the total entropy of any system tends to increase over time. When I feel this, for once, I hope that the law can be violated.

(...this is just a side thought..The above writing is what I hope people will know and be aware of. There are many things (and shit) that happened in the world and people should not be so ignorant about it. This may be too far fetched, but this is also the main reason why I hope people will get out of their bubble, watch less soap dramas (ou xiang ju), read less about Britney Spears, be less self-pity and listen to the world!)

L’examen de français!

2008-05-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! Je viens de avoir l'examen de français et il est allé bien. L'épreuve deuxiéme était bonne et j'ai écrit deux lettres. Le premiere lettre est été écrit à une hôtel and j'ai dû faire une reservation. Pour le deuxiéme lettre, j'ai dû écrire à mon grand-père et lui parler que j'ai été reçu à mon examens.

La plupart de mes amis ont fini leur examens et je veux finir les miens aussi! J'ai trois subjet plus et je finirai mecredi prochain et j'attende pas!

Donc, je dois travaille dur pour la physique et les mathematiques. Qu'est-ce que je ferais ce soir? Faire le fête ou travailler?

Thank you Gareth

2008-05-08T11:33:00.001-07:00

What words can I describe my feelings now? Guilty, grateful, happy, scared, mixed, ambivalent.

I really can't describe how thankful I am for Gareth. Without his help, this wouldn't have happened. I seriously owe him big time. Jasanya akan dikenangkan selama-lamanya.

But before I actually go ahead, I should think hard right now. What should I do? Name can actually break you. It's not difficult at all to be trapped by the fame factor. Arrogance and fear will eventually form. It will be a challenge and out of my comfort zone. But why should I be in my comfort zone at the age of 19? I have plenty of time for that at the age of 91.

What Should I do leh?

Thanks Gareth. Merci beaucoup.

Williams or Dartmouth?

2008-05-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

This question has been bothering me for the past few weeks. Both are great schools and Williams was intially my first choice. However, Dartmouth is giving me more $$$. HOw can I resist that. furthermore, Williams is in the middle of nowhere and very academic orientated. Should I go to Dartmouth, where everything is more balanced? it's a very hard decision. It seems easy just to choose Dartmouth because of the fame of Ivy League. However, I am not really afraid about recognition because important ppl who will determine my future will know the value of Williams College- 1st of Liberal Arts College.

Well. Should I take the Road Less Travelled By? Going to Williams will once again push me off my comfort zone. I have done that by coming to AC. Oh, I don't mean that going to Dartmouth is not challenging. It's challenging but less risky like Williams.

Well Well. Thurs is the last day. and I've said that I want to make a decision today. W Or D?

Tomorrow is the day!

2008-05-04T12:10:00.001-07:00

Whoa. Tomorrow is the day. The day that we have been waiting for.
Even though it doesn't really matter that much, I would still have to do well.
I.B. Here I come.

Again....

2008-03-31T08:16:00.000-07:00

Here it goes again.. Should I still believe? or Try?

What's the point? Am I really that unattractive?

Great guy. ha. it echoes with the Great Gatsby. what a coincidence. was reading it beside on the way back from London and thinking what if that happens.

The Green Light was turned off.

Project Week

2008-02-29T12:14:00.000-08:00

I know this blog has been dead for a long time. But I just can't help it because I had so much to do. After 2 weeks of torture in trial exams, it's finally project week! In Project Week, students are required to do something outside of the classroom to discover oneself and the world. Of course, this is the ideal of it. Last year, I went to Vienna with Tour Choir. This year I'm going to Perpignan, South France with my French ab initio class. I'm staying with Antoine who had come to AC last term. I'm very glad to have him as my host because he is very different from others. Now i'm really worried because I really suck big time in speaking French. I truly hope that my oral will improve after this project week so that I can do better in my oral exam.

I just came back from London for UCL Open Day and Dartmouth Interview. Stayed in Malaysian Hall for a night for only £7. I think that's the cheapest accommodation I can get in London. Met up with Sook Keng, Chea Ming and Rachel in London for meals. Really missed Chinese food. After that, went to Sing CHia's house in Cardiff and stayed for a night. She treated me a Spanish meal man. Thanks to her I had a great night.

Was working on y musical stuff. AC Musical is happening on the weekend after project week. I'm in charge of music. Pretty stressed at times because have to arrange all the parts. Hopefully it will go well ;)

Will try more often not to let this blog dead. Recently am obsessed with reading news and articles regarding the general election. Frankly speaking, I have a feeling that BN will lose quite a lot of votes this year. Politics are complicated and exhausting. Real politics are way much different from those taught on books. Books only teach ppl political thoughts and ideologies. I sometimes really wonder if I will ever get into politics in the future. I have been exposed to the kind of lifestyle one can get in politics. It often scares yet incites me.

New Year Resolutions

2008-01-01T07:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, Happy New Year everyone! How was 2007 for ya? What are your New Year resolutions then?

I have too many New Year resolutions lolz. To Live happily? yea sounds very normal. But is sometimes hard to achieve, no? To continue improve myself. 2007 is the year I came to identify myself more. 2007 is the year I saw more, travel more and grew. And now I want more. Constant upgrading myself- yea will keep that in mind for this year! lolz.

Was watching news just now. And now, I thought of a new year resolution which is really from my heart. Respect for the environment- one of the UWC core values. I couldn't help to feel frustrated when the governments took ages to comply to cut carbon emission in Bali few weeks ago. WTF. Everybody has to take responsibility! Yes. India, China and developing countries are scared that cutting carbon emission would hinder economic growth. Developed countries like USA, Canada and Japan don't wanna take responsibility because thought it was unfair for developing countries to have less responsibility. DENG. so much for the race for big power. What's the point of getting big power in the end when the earth is dead?!

Some signs to tell you world is in danger because of mankind:

1. Bears were spotted to wander around in woods in Germany and Russia during winter. Think about it. What are bears supposed to do during winter? HIBERNATE!!! Now they dun hibernate anymore. Why? Bears don't have a calender to tell them it's winter. They rely on the air temperature

2. Polar Bears were found dead in sea. Polar Bears are born good swimmers. Polar bears normally take a rest on ice while travelling for great distance. BUt now, ice are melting in North Pole. and they are not strong enough to support the bears. in the end, the bears drowned or died because of exhaustion.

3. Flowers bloom in New York during winter. WTH? Aren't flowers supposed to bloom in April?

4. Ppl died because of heat wave. and dun be surprise that the number will increase this coming summer.

5. A Norwegian swimmer swam in North Pole. 20 years ago, nobody could swim in the North Pole. It's just way too Cold. Perhaps you could stay in the water. but not for long.

6. It used to snow for weeks in St.Donats, Wales ( my college basically). But last year, it only snowed for 1 day.

Scientists predicted
1. In 50 years, London will transform into an underwater city.

2. India will lose most of her small island

3. Drought will continue. Means we are getting less food.

4. Amazon forest, the earth's lungs, would lose a big part of its area.

I suppose this shouldn't be that shocking anymore because ppl are already informed about this since young. BUt are we doing enough?

I felt uncomfortable when I travelled to China. No doubt China is emerging as a strong country and economy power in the world right now. But looking at the Chinese especially those Rich Chinese, wasting food, consume massive of energy etc. Is it possible for the world to have a sustainable future?

Times published some ways for laymen to be part of conserving the environment.
1. Wear old clothes, buy less new clothes. Check your clothes materials and you will realize that most of them contains a little bit extract from petroleum
2.Make Online payment
3.Shut down your computers when you are not using them.
4.Live near your working place
5.Open your window, use the air cond less.

these are the small stuffs that we should do. The world is not changing much to the better because everyone take others for granted. Ppl always think :" aiya..Others will do de mah" When everyone thinks like this, the world will be dead.

i'm back!

2007-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'm back. Will update the next few days! haha..wahliaoeh..i just realised that somebody advertise their porn website on my tag board man! haha..chun.

4 more days!

2007-08-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Happy burfday to you!
The burfday girl and I

b4 we sang

Quatre, bon repas

Jerusalem Herb Soup
Lamb Chop
Chicken Breast
Duck Cofti

Well, 4 more days and I'm going back. whoosh. time flies. seriously.there goes my 2.5 months, relaxing, chilling, exciting holiday.

Went to Frangipani yesterday night with ZB, SC and LiLi. b4 that, i was worried if the food is still as good as it was. but after the meal, I realised that my worries is just a waste of time. SCRUMPTIOUS (quote LiLi) would be the suitable word to describe the meal. another quote from LiLi, it buzz my taste bud to a whole new world! haha.. seriously, it does. ZB and I had duck cofty, SC had grilled lamb chop and LL had chicken breast. In addition, they had grilled escargot and a Jerusalem herb soup for appertizer. the appertizer is a bit expensive and the portion of the food is kinda small( Duh.it's french cuisine). but trust me, it's filling. As it's a fine-dine, the average cost for a person is around 80-100 ringgit. it's considered cheap among so many fine dine in the world. if you go to Aus fine dine, it's 100 AUssie dollar. Uk? well, it's 100 pounds at least. Oslo? dun even think about it(btw, with 100 ringgit, you can get a good beef rib in Australia- Pancake on the Rock in Sydney. but it's just like Aussie TGI Fridays..so be grateful malaysia stuff is relatively inexpensive). of course, with 100 ringgit you can do lotsa stuff and i'm not that rich to go to this rest every week or month. once a year is reasonable and satisfying. :D

Today morning woke up and went to fetch mum from Pyramid Tower. Finally! her events are over and she's not that busy anymore. so i can spend more time with her b4 i go back..kinda heartaching to see her so busy but it's good in a way that she can fill up her free time le. hehe heard the event was a huge success and received compliments from many states representatives and even from Bakti members. :) i'm proud of you !

in the afternoon, went to the curve with Chloe and Yen! ahha long time didn't see her and they had a new hair style hehe.kinda cute-- according to them, it's called Bob cut. haha.kk.the latest trend i suppose hehe ^-^ i just can't stop teasing Chloe le..haha! great fun..and i hope i have free time on Wednesday to watch a movie with her! :D

in the evening, went to Sue Bee's burfday party! hehe..again it's cool to meet so many old frens! Xin Ni, Toh Yuen, Yvonne, Hui Jing, Sui Yuan, Rachel Ooi, Nigel and others.. it just reminds me of the good old days in CHS..man..i just miss those days! guess this is the last time i gonna see them until next year especially Sui Yuan and Tim cause they are so busy..well, good luck! hehe..and once again, good luck to A-levelers..dun worry too much about ur results! it's gonna ba just fine. haha Tang Shu Haur never lie to you! hehe :)

Asian Action Movie

2007-07-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

As i went to Steven's corner yesteday night with Michelle, Kher Shean, John, bro , Nick and Sun King until quite late, i ended up sleeping at 2 am. =-=''' my bro's low frequency voice woke me up when i was about to sleep.

Yes!! i did it. I manage to force myself to wake up at 10a.m. and started working on my CV and replying Christine's mail. cool..i can feel the momentum and gosh, i miss this feeling. haha.am i turning to be a Workaholic? haha guess i'm. i feel very frustrated when i'm too free. cause i'll be very sleepy and can't concentrate while talking to ppl. after finished my work, went to MV at 4 and watched Invisible Target with Chyi and Han. I thought we were going to watch The Invisible.. ahha so i asked the stranger sitting beside me what movie we were watching..and i didn't know it's chinese Movie until it started. The story is kinda predictable or mayb i'm just too smart :P overall it's a good movie and it's beyond my expectation actually. haha..i love action movies so it's cool.. fighting scene is exciting and for once, our Hero's son actually died in the movie! hahaha that's cool too..if not it will be just like his dad. The Immortal Chan

After the movie, had dinner at Mdm Kwan and had Nasi Bojari. it's superb! haha.. kk I promise Han and Chyi that when i have $$$ i'll surely treat them a meal haha. but..guess you guys have to wait for a long time hahaha :D

hmm.while i was on my way home, i was wondering how they make the Heavy and firm sound for each punch in the movie..clue anyone?

Luna bAr

2007-07-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Went to VoonHaw's place to do the arrangment today. it went off quite smoothly actually and i completed the verse, prechorus and chorus. however, it's not as happening and groovey as i wanted and i was cracking my head how to improve it.. well, i'm still a rookie in arrangment and seriously i need more time. after working for nearly 4 hrs, i wanted to go back home by monorail and lrt but discovered that i didn't have money.=-=''' so i had to walk all the way to Times Square to change my pounds and took the train back. mum actually forgot to tell Uncle to fetch me but she's too busy with her work nowadays. so i was not mad at her actually.just that i was feeling insecure around that area cause there were a lot of immigrants workers. okay. i dun look down on them okay. but as a constant newspaper reader everyday, it's inevitable for me to feel worried and insecure while being outside.

after dinner, went to Luna Bar with bro, John, Michelle and KeChian(hope i got the spelling right!). it was a great time. one can get a spectacular view of KL from Luna Bar and they actually have a air-conditioned bar.! hurray haha..it's cool to drink outdoor but..gosh it's just too hot. had Lychee martini which is nice and soothing..after that had 3 hoegardern..this is really the best beer i ever had. seriously, even qingdao is not as good as this. it's smooth and light. very suitable for girls actually.

well, gotta sleep now and wake up for the next battle tomorrow!

No sacrifices, no victory

2007-07-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 11 am today and went to 'Discover American Edu' at Midvalley.actually it's not necessary for me to go there because I already know all the important information etc. but it's cool to meet new ppl there and scout for some Safety unis for my application. Gosh..it's so hard to decide which uni i gonna apply to. 5 onli wo! frankly speaking, i wouldn't apply to a too low-ranking university which i know i will definately get admitted. because even if i get it, i won't go there. I would choose to go to UK and yea even without financial aid. but...that's not the most ideal plan for me la.. what's my ideal plan? I would apply to at least 3 Ivy Leagues : Princeton University , Harvard University, UPenn/Darthmouth/MIT/Yale.
ARGH!!!To be honest, of all the universities i really luv princeton . not too big like Yale or Harvard..and they offer good courses..and it has a campus! perfect school for me. plus my buddy is there ^-^. there are so many lengluis in the edu fair..haha..good good more lengluis to US and my life gonna be more exciting! haha :P plus, i saw the real person of a girl. haha..looks diff from her blog picture

after that, watched Die Hard 8.0 ( this is the 2nd time. so 2 x Die Hard 4.0) with LiLi and her parents. ahha so pai seh le..her mum gave me a cream for my acnes and a bar of choc! yea..treat me so nice! :)

hmm..and also, i think i'll help Yen Hue with the arrangments le.. he's quite pity also la..very busy and doesn't have time to do the arrangement.. okey my to do list for this week : 1. Start Extended essay(at least 1000 words) 2. Do Arrangment 3. Intensive research on Uni

''No sacrifices, no victory. Pain is temporary, pride is forever.''

i'm still alive!

2007-07-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

haha..just in case if you are worried, i'm still alive and i'm in Malaysia now.. suffering from the hot and humid weather.. it's my bad i know for not updating my blog but gosh, i just can't committ myself 100% writing blog everyday.. haha..

now i'm busy like hell. have to start working on my extended essay(4000 words), musical investigation (2000 words), Universities application (UCAS and US) etc.. i can only blame myself for having too much fun since i'm back and did nth basically. but hey, i don't regret lo and i think i deserve a good break after the intensive 6 months in Wales!

21 days- counting down till the day i'm going back.. august period is fun, that's what i heard from my 2nd years..some even said that it's just a extended summer camp in AC..however they did warn me that it's fun unless i have finished my 1st EE draft and musical investigation.
i really wanna have fun during august period and my 3rd term. i had seen how my 2nd years suffered in 3rd term- the toughest and the most demanding term throughout the whole AC life, with the 1st years arrive, more responsibilities in activities, leaders in services, uni application etc. A word(not a piece lolz) of advice from them - TAHAN! and one more- ENJOY! ..the former should be okay but the latter is a bit diff to achieve.. how to enjoy pain? haha..i guess only my tutor who can do that..To quote him ' pain is a sensation, and sensations are to be enjoyed' lolz!

went to 1u in noon and met so many frens there ( or lengluis hehe) 1st, i met Soo Mei. that's really surprising cause b4 i went to 1u, i thought to myself if i would run into her cause she just lives nearby..haha mana tau i really saw her n i couldn't believe my eyes at 1st..next, i met Wern Eik with his bf..after that, met Michelle with her mum..cool cool! haha..not bad for an outing which i didn't really wanna go..

later went to CHS to fetch my sis and saw Say Chiew, Michelle and Jia Mein! haha..it's really great to see them..and i didn't know that Michelle is a prefect! haha..good luck guys for STPM!

okkkie..really have to continue doing research..what should i write leh? National Automotive Policy or Selangor as a developed state?

Goodbye?! No i don't want!

2007-05-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

3 days ago was the yearbook distribution. 2 days was the 2nd year show. Yesterday was my last group lifeguard meal. Today is my French test and what's more..3 days before end of term!
It's so annoying..I want to spend more time with the 2nd years but i'm having exams at the same time.. I won't be able to see many of them in the future anymore and i really treasure the moments i have with them.. that's why..i didn't hesitate to accompany for 4 performances in the 2nd year show.'i will always love you' with Angel was superb with Juan's saxophone solo.. Melicia's 'against all odds' was powerful and i think it penetrated a lot of the 2nd years heart.. ' you'll always be in my heart' with the HK giants was warm and touching although it's short.. last but not least, 'seasons of love' make many of the 2nd years cry.. ' How do you measure a year in a life? How about love?' yea..perharps that's the best answer..

one year in AC- i've experienced so much, in term of physical, mental and emotion.. now i have to goodbye to the 2nd years who slept with me, drank with me, danced with me, partied with me, swam with me, taught me, work with me, sang with me, played music with me, composed with me, kayaked with me etc!!! ARGh.!! i hate this feeling! I can imagine myself being stone and numb after being home and probably will take days to recover.. Once again, I'm losing people who are important to me..

OMG!

2007-05-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

At UN Headquarters in Vienna
At Graz
Just arrived at Graz
Our 1st Concert
At Graz as well

At Southern DOwn
Group C/F

HAHAHA.. It's since a long time I last wrote my blog. guess it's time to update if not Yen Tink will keep annoying me :P

Had my first SAT today and as expected, I didnt' manage to finish my essay and couldn't answer some Math Ques ( I'm pretty sure i have tons of careless mistakes) . Also, as usual,I stared blank on the reading sections and tried my best to eliminate incorrect choices..Sigh..I'll just treat today test as a tryout and do better next time! Besides that, end of term exam starts during the week after and I still haven't started revising French,music, econ and English.. I wonder how i'm going to survive from this exam.

Okey, as Yen Tink requested, here's a recap of what I've done last 2 months.

During Project Week, I went to Austria with the Tour Choir and we performed in few places. We first arrived at Graz, the second biggest city in Austria, and we had our first concert in a church. As we had limited money, we requested the locals to be our host family and mine was very hospitable and genial. I had my own room (finally!), private bathroom and of course good food! After 2 days in Graz, we went to Vienna, the capital of Austria, by train and stayed with host families too. My host family in Vienna was an ex-student from Adriatic College and she just graduated from university as a doctor. As young newly-wed , she and her husband didn't have much time to entertain us and to show us around because they were busily engaged with work. The most exciting event in Vienna, I think, was our performance in United Nations Headquarters in Vienna. However, not many people watched our performance because there was a group of people demonstrating at the same time and I finally got to see with my own eyes how the armed forces cease the demonstration. After Vienna, we went to Salzburg (Mozart’s hometown) and Innsbruck. The quality of our performance declined from the beginning of the trip until the end because of the exhausting journey. We had to travel around the cities on public transport as we didn't have a private coach to fetch us around. Yet I got to experience the local life better when I travel on public transport and the trip was a great fun! The Austrian National Committee helped us a lot in arranging accommodation, transportation, venue for our concert, promotion and media coverage etc and in return, we helped them to raise fund for scholarships.

After the project week, I was quickly involved in the musical and everything was such chaotic and disorganized that I nearly wanted to give up. People involved in the musical were not committed and it's so hard to get them to be professional. But Miracle happened in the end! On the last few days till the actual show, all the performers started to be nervous and they finally put in all their effort and guess what, everything went on very well on the night! To my surprise, Many ppl ( mostly girls ahem) like me singing and over a night, i sort of became a celebrity in my college haha..

There was a music festival 'Sound Bite' in my college in the following week and I went to almost all of the workshops like song writing and hip-hop. The Arts Centre invited many prominent artists, performers, directors etc to held seminars and workshops for the public and students..For example, Danny Hockhe, the founder of the Hip-Hop Theatre in New York came here and gave a hip-hop workshop and performed.. To my surprise, his Hip-Hop is not those I always see on TV..instead, he talked about Hip-hop as a culture and i now really know more about Hip-Hop.. In one of the song writing workshops, attendees were divided into 3 groups to write a song on a piece of lyrics given by a Sweden band who were here for the festival. Later in the night, one of the band members approached my friend and me and she asked for the chords. They added that they would give credit to us if they will record the song in their album...haha..it's so nice cause i haven't composed song for a very long time..always stuck during while trying to compose a song..

The final event in the following week was the International Show. International Show is held annually and it’s organized by Save the Children organization in my college and it's opened for the public. We put together all the performances from all the national groups in my college and it was extremely exhausting and challenging to get the students to organize, rehearse and polish their performances. On the final day, the actual show went on smoothly and I think we managed to raise approximately £1000 for Save the Children. Besides that, members of AC Save The Children had the opportunity to attend the National Assembly in Cardiff and we met the high officials of UK Save The Children. According to them, we are the best branch during year 2006 and 2007 as we managed to raise a huge sum of money for Save The Children and to instill the awareness of child poverty in the local community.

As for my service, I had my Pool Lifeguard Exam at the beginning of the term and Beach Lifeguard Exam last week. Proudly to say, I am a qualified Pool Lifeguard! Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to swim under 7.30 minutes for 400 meters (I did 8.42 mins) in the Beach Lifeguard Exam and I am qualified as a Life Saver instead. Besides the time swim, we had a theory test and sea water rescue at Barry Island for the Beach Lifeguard Exam. Although the weather is becoming warmer, the water still remains cold and I couldn’t help but to shiver every time I’m in the water.

Well these are the big events that I was involved in in the last 2 months.. And nOW, i have to make reservation for Malaysian Hall, change my SAT test centre to London, book a flight ticket to Canada.. guess i confirm that i'm going back to M'sia on 10th of June cause i will meet my parents in Canada after my SAT II exam on 2nd of June.. ( sigh.. the price is that i have to stay alone in London for 8 days before my SAT II exams arh..SIenz arh..) ..and now i'm still hesitating if I should go to Syndey to visit Steven.. haha..as usual, i always have trouble while making decisions.. do you have any remedy for me? or at least tell me what i should do? lolz

Oh btw, guys please register for FACEbook. it's just like another friendster BUt i personally prefer facebook because it's more versatile and more convenient..trust me ! hehe log in to
www.facebook.com and sign up now!

Vienna!

2007-03-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

Tuan Yuan Fan in the best chinese restaurant in Cardiff
1st years Chinese
Me and the Hongkies!
4 hrs more and I'm leaving for Vienna! ( it's 11.40p.m. here). really looking forward to visit the Nation of Music and sing in front of them! haha...

During Project Week, students are required to do something out of class and to meet the self-development ideas. there are many interesting project week going on this year like Israel-Palestian Project week( my dorm mate is in the project) , Rome project, Madrid project, Amsterdam project, Lifeguard project..and many more..

right right right..Shouldn't i be packing right now? haha..To have a 15 kg luggage only is quite a challenging task lolz..

ISG..ACMUN..PLG..Natzi..Prom

2007-02-08T12:19:00.000-08:00

Lifeguard Group C/F

From left:Sidiane, Patrick, Ruth, Alex, Lena, Me and Joe

On the chairs: Group instructor- Regine & Matias

Mark & Jessica
Party party

Antonia and ZephMe, Amir, Sang Hee and LuZe 3 beauties from German
~Rahel and I~

Me and Kumiko

The 1st Security Council Meeting
Minda, Simon and Kaveh as the chairwoman and chairmen

A map Taken from North American National Evening lolz
ILBs pulling lifeboats after a session

Top Lawn
Snow-Morganng House

During the last 3 weeks, I was really busy and exhausted. A quick recap on the stuffs I did during that period before I forget. From 29/1-4/2, 7 students from International School of Geneva came and I was selected as one of the hosts for them. My buddy was Arjuna or Reji from Zimbabwe who migrated to Geneva few years ago due to unstable and corrupted political situation in that country. I was lucky to get him as he's really nice and not snobbish like I expected. Why I expected him to be snobbish? Simple. International School of Geneva is basically a school for rich kids because majority of them come from well-being family as their parents work for the United Nation. No kiddin my man. They are really rich. 7 students from my college went to Geneva as well at the same time and they stayed with the 7 Geneva students' families. However, Nishreen couldn't stay with one of the guy's family ( his name is Warren) because of the Security Protocall addressed by U.S.A government as his father is the American Ambassador in Geneva. In the end, she had to stay with the guy's girlfriend. Although ISG offers IB as well, its approach to IB is somehow different compared to AC. 1st of all, they have classes every weekdays from 8a.m. to 5p.m. (I'm not saying this is a bad thing, just that it shows that they focus A lot on academic), no fixed and standardized service( In I.B students are required to do CAS=Creativity, Action and Service. I'm doing LIfeguard service in my college). Even though it's a international school as well, students studying mainly are from Geneva as they have migrated there for a long time while the students in AC come from all around the world. However, students in ISG are more like professional sportsmen and their standard is really high.

Meanwhile Atlantic College Model United Nations (ACMUN) was held from 2/2-4/2. I was selected as the delegate of Indonesia in the Security Council. The issues that were discussed were concerning Israel-Palestian, Sudan and UN peacekeeping force. I felt myself ignorant at the beginning at the meetings as I didn't know about the procedures and Indonesia International Policies( yea..although it's my neighbour country). At 1st, the procedures described on the handout made no sense at all to me because of too many regulations like unmoderate caucus or moderate caucus blah blah blah. But things were better when we started the meetings and I found that the procedures are very systematic and efficient in disccusing an issue if every delegates are well prepared and participated in the debates and discussions. During the discussion of whether UN peacekeeping force should be transformed to peaceMaking force, I proposed to abolish Veto power under the new structure of Peacemaking force. haha... As expected, I was bombarded by criticism by the 5 countries.haha..but it's alright cause I had many small countries like Peru supporting me! haha.. Fun Fun fun.. Some of the other councils went crazy too. For example, the delegate of Jamaica in Disarmement Council colluded secretly with American in order to get nuclear weapons haha. Also, delegates could make comments and critisize other delegates through the press and the news are published and distributed everyday during the meetings.

On 3/2, I sat for my Pool Lifeguard Theory test and I was scheduled for the practical exam on 8/2. Unfortunately, the pool broke down during that week and my practical exam was postponed to the following week.

on 8/2, I performed in the students' concert and i played Debussy's Arabesque and Natzi from the animation Spirited Away. hehe..I think i did quite well in the concert except some silly mistakes and I would have bang the wall if i didn't do well cause I've been practising hard on the 2 pieces for a few weeks. hmm..maybe because of my music background, many people commented that i played better on Natzi and that I managed to portrayed the right spirit and feelings of the song. also, i should play more asian music in concerts because i think that the whole college is quite used and to certain extend, bored with classical music. hehe..their ears need new elements! haha..

Last Saturday was a prom for Valentine's Day and I asked a German girl(Rahel) to be my prom date. The prom was really nice and it went well except some stupid stuffs that I did. 1st of all, I didn't know why but I was so 'suk' until i didn't dare to hold her hands while we were dancing (oh it's not ballroom dance..just normal clubbing music. DOn't ask me why it's not ballroom music. I also wanna know why). 2ndly, I felt quite kekok and a bit mentally retarted cause I didn't know what to chat with her. haha..(maybe cause she was too pretty that night lolz) 3rdly, she was almost as tall as me after wearing high heels. darn it..once again, I felt inferior because of my height and small shoulders! sigh.. why can't i put on weight? i have been eating a lot le!

kkk. Those are the stuffs I did 3 weeks ago. I'm really looking forward to the trip to Vienna next Wednesday with Tour Choir. haha..we are going to perform at the British Ambassador! A picture is worth a thousand words. i'll post more pictures if I don't write next time hehe.

Surfing to Letter-writing

2007-01-21T12:48:00.000-08:00

My hand print
Only soup and bread for one of the supper during Human Rights
Focus Week- to feel the hunger of many poor ppl in the world

A simulation of the oppression on prisoners

So..this is SouthernDown
Oosshh..oooshhh..write write write!
Save the Children Poster

"The Met Office continues to forecast a spell of very windy weather during Thursday 18th January. Severe gales are expected across all of England and Wales, possibly extending further Northwards into Northern Ireland and Southern Scotland. Confidence has increased in gusts of around 60 to 70 miles per hour in many parts, and some gusts around 80 miles per hour, particularly in upland or exposed places. Winds are expected to ease from the west during Thursday afternoon. Predicted wind speeds could lead to widespread disruption to transport and power networks. Some significant damage to buildings is also possible." (Met Office web site.)

The current local forecast is predicting the strongest winds (40 mph – 50 mph) between 0900 and 1800 Thursday 18 Jan 07 peaking at around 1200. Winds of this speed can cause trees to fall and damage to buildings. There will almost certainly be small branches brought down and possibly larger ones.

After reading this, I was kinda delighted as i thought that SouthernDown-Surfing session would be changed to pool session. Unfortunately not. Just 10 mins before service, Martias ran into my dorm and told me to put on my wet suits and to meet at the seafront. My first reaction was 'Oh my god..are you serious?' and i can tell from his serious face( i can hardly see him so serious lolz) that he's not mocking me. As we were arriving at SouthernDown( a beach which is 15 mins drive away from AC), from far i could see the frequent and massive waves beating on the shore, leaving white foam on the rocks and pebbles. Running against the howling wind, we went up to the hills beside the shore to do some stretching and went back to the shore though the tunnel under the bridge link to the shore.( Yes, cause Alan thought that we should do some ninja stuffs as we looked like a group of ninjas in our wetsuits). The bad news of the day is that we are not surfing cause the wind is too strong and we might be blown to the cliffs while struggling to get our boards down to the sea. So, we decided to swim out to the sea, and try to catch some waves while coming back. The first attempt was extremely horrible but fun and our adrenaline are pumping and we couldn't resist the temptation to have another go. During the 3rd time, my left leg cramped because of the freaking cold water( very pai sei la) and Regine, thank you very much for massaging my leg! :)

So that's for Thurs. Nth extremely exciting happened on Fri. Just went to Llantwit to buy some provisions and went swimming in the night with Sidiane and Pammi. However, yesterday( Sat) was a long day for me. I worked in the library the whole afternoon on my English Lit. Oral Presentation. Ruth asked us to talk about a writing that we found inspirational and having not much time to prepare, I decide to talk about 'If'. Well, you can't say that it's a random choice as I like the poem very much. I thought that talking about 'If' would be easy but I overestimate my memory power. lolz..So, it's no surprise for me spending so much time to find the information. Right right. The exciting part is the letter-writing campaign that starts from 8am-8pm. Dunno why, i was so enthusiastic about it and I really wanted to break Mark's record and win the 1st prize! However, my plan didn't go on smoothly. I had to help out setting up the Save the Children big poster for people to print their hands on( it's so cool..we have hand prints of ppl from 80+countries on the poster!) and started writing the letters 1 hr later than others. A bit explanation about the letter-writing campaign :

Tomorrow at 8 pm in the library the annual Amnesty International letter writing campaign will kick off – lasting for 12 hours until the following morning. The letter writing campaign is held every year to support the many campaigns for human rights around the world – ranging from women’s rights in Venezuela to the release of prisoners in Russia. Last year a total of 3200 letters were written by the students, and with this years aim of 4000 we hope to see all of you there. Between 20.00 and 23.00 you are welcome to come and go as you will – but before check in we will have to make a list of all those of you who wish to stay the whole night so that we can notify your houseparents. The coffee machines will be open all night, and fruit and bread will be provided in the canteen. The 2006 docu-drama The Road To Guantanamo about the incarceration of three British detainees at a detainment camp in Guantanamo Bay will be shown on a projector while the letters are being written, in relation to the 5th anniversary of the detention camp at the US naval base in Cuba - which despite widespread international condemnation, is still imprisoning over 500 people – none of who has been tried.

Letters don't have to be long or detailed. In each appeal case, Amnesty will include the exact request to make and details of who to write to. Those who have specific knowledge about a country or a case may choose to write a more detailed letter, but all types of letters are valuable. Your letter, combined with others from all over the world, can lead to a dramatic improvement in the situation of a victim of human rights abuse. Putting pressure on officials through letter writing can result in torture being stopped, access granted to doctors or lawyers, death sentences being commuted, 'disappearances' investigated, and prisoners released. Over 20 letters from different campaigns will this year be provided.

As tradition goes, the 3 people who write the most letters (last year it was Sunley’s own Mark Wong, with approximately 69 letters written over the 12 hours) will get a meal cooked by a staff-member (and you may bring a friend). This year however, Malcolm has been degraded down to 2nd prize – and the feisty Alex Bird is now the man of the hour who will cook a meal for you! 2nd is then a meal by Malcolm, and on third we have our dear Vice-Principal Gareth.. How could you possibly resist such an enticement?

I was trying my best to catch up with others and sadly to say, at 2.30Am i realised that I was 22 letters behind them. Even if i continued to write on my full speed, I would only managed to write 80 letters in total while others would write >100! Right.. telling myself that I would ganbate next year, I finally gave up and went to bed at 3.30 a.m.

Tragedy to Triumph

2007-01-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

[Beethoven's Symphony No.5: Tragedy to Triumph playing at the background]
dmm-dmm-dmm-dmmm, Dmm-dmm-dmm-dmm
The first service session of the term was kayaking. Looking at the waves breaking and coming into the steepway and feigning calm at the same time, Regine launched my kayak into the sea before the next wave came in. Unfortunately,few seconds later my spray deck got loose and before I could fix it, a wave rushed towards my direction and hit my kayak. My kayak was then filled with water and Alan ordered Chee Chuen to help me to empty the kayak at the right side of the steepway. However, Chee Chuen misinterpreted Alan's instructions and towed me to the rocks beside the steepway.When I was approaching the rocks, suddenly a massive wave came from behind and I capsized. With the waves coming in every 5-10 seconds, we struggled to get our kayaks onto the rocks and to empty them. While it was hard to stand on the slippery rocks and with the waves washing us up to the beach and again into the sea, we tried our best not to let the kayaks dragged into the sea by the waves. After approximately 5 minutes of struggle, Chee Chuen launched my kayak again and the same thing happened. =-=' The spray deck came off. Right, then we started the whole process again and in the end, i managed to made it out to the sea,leaving Chee Chuen behind. Poor seconds years, they always have to help the 1st year and sacrifice themselves. lolz

In the middle of the session, Alan asked us to do rockhoping and Regine, Lena, Martias were the 1st group. Guess what happened? lolz..Regine capsized when a wave washed her into the rocks and her kayak hit Lena's and both of them capsized at the same time. Martias who wanted to rescue them, was caught in between 2 waves and yes, you are right, he capsized too! lolz..Chee Chuen went in for rescue and same thing happened to him! HAha..We were told to pedal further away and Alan went in to be the hero. Feeling a little bit disappointed, I could see skillful Alan sliding through the waves and swaying around the rocks and got to them. I would laugh at that point if Alan were to capsize too! lolz.. Repeating what I was doing 30 minutes before, they were struggling as well to empty the kayaks and to launch their kayaks. Feeling unfair that the rest of us didn't get wet, Alan made us capsized and practised Eskimo rescue.

Although the water today was fairly warm ( around 13c), I couldn't feel my hands at all after the session. I darn agree with Alan that it is indeed very satisfying to be able to achieve something that you thought you couldn't. Trying one's best to fix a bad situation or tragedy is very challenging but it's indeed very rewarding if once succeed. Though it was a tough session, we had fun( looking at Regine and Martias capsizing! lolz) and it's really not that bad after all to be caught in nasty situation. This is what i call Triumph after a tragedy.( hmm...sounds so familiar)

Whole day in Cardiff

2007-01-14T03:56:00.000-08:00

We missed the bus to Llantwit Major at 10.35a.m. We missed it not because we were late. It's because the driver didn't see us waving our hands and stopped for us! Feeling annoyed, we called the cab for 7 and we had to wait for another half an hr in the cold wind and irritating rain.

Right. Having not much chances to come to Cardiff( cause it's very expensive to travel to Cardiff so often-- it cost at least £5 per trip), I knew that I had to do all my shopping done today. Without wasting anymore time, I went to the surf shop at the castle arcade and bought a rash guard which cost me £34.95! Then we dropped by at Primark and Boots as Yi Hui wanted to buy a towel and toiletries. Again, yes again, we missed the train and we decided to have our lunch at Burger king while waiting for the next train to Grangetown. Meanwhile, I found carphone warehouse and made some enquiries about that best plans available. hehe..i can't wait to get my hands on Sony Ericsson W850i! For the time being, 02 plan seems to be the best as i can get 500 mins call and 500 free texts plus a 1GB memory card. hehe. However, I got to open a bank account first and hopefully I can get it done within the next 2 weeks.

At 4pm, we finally arrived at Grangetown ( after missing 2 trains) and we took a bus to IKEA ( i bought a return ticket- £1.60 which I don't think I should cause I walked back to the station in the end). After scouting for sometime, in the end I bought a container, a storage bag, a pot and 5 hangers. Once again, without fail, we missed the bus and had to walk back to the station.

Now, the most annoying part has just begun. We were told that there was some technical problem at Llantwit Major Station and our train would terminate at BArry. Fair enough cause the company offered a bus to fetch us back to Llantwit Major. HOWEVER, the bus didn't come to pick us up after we had waited for an hour! To make matter worse, we had to wait for another half an hour at the station for the bus to be fully occupied. arggghh...

Sometimes it's really good to be 18. Haha.. The blondes wanted to have a party yesterday and they couldn't buy alchohol cause they are under 18. So of course, I was the saviour to them when they discovered that I'm 18 lolz. We stopped by at Filco before going back to AC and they bought a total of £42 of alchohol! haha..i wonder if they would finish all of them at one night.. lolz

Later in the evening I went to the sosh as i was dragged there and I had a bottle of beer. sigh..everyone was partying yesterday night and noone wanted to go swimming with me. Sosh was not that interesting to me yesterday although everyone there was so crazy and having so much fun. I was not in a party mood. So i went back to Dyfed and chatted with Ivy and Karmen. Lolz..Ivy's face was a red as a tomato after having a bottle of cider and apparently Isaac who is going to Princeton as well, failed to make her drunk.

Still jetlagging, I went to bed at 1 after watching the hillarious and sick comedy Alex downloaded. Right I have to start working tomorrow and adapt myself back to AC life.

Lonely Painter..

2007-01-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

Where's home?

Finally back at AC. Finally I'm 11000km away from home.I feel so weird. 24 hrs ago I was still sweating under the hot sun in KL and now I'm shivering because of the wet and cold Welsh weather. Yesterday night when I was sleeping on the small single bed, I kept imagining myself on my own bed or the bed on the cruise at Yangtze. Time flies..tsk tsk..Travelling alone on the plane for 14 hrs was really lonely and boring. Listening to Micheal Bubble's 'Home', Shun Zi's 'xie yi shou ge' and Diana Krall's 'A case of you' suddenly made me have the inspiration to pour and paint my feelings in my journal. Thanks to mum and dad, I managed to upgrade my seat to business class and it really made my journey more pleasant and less exhausting.

It's so good to find somebody to have the same feelings with you because they are the only ones who really understand what you mean. Same as me, Jane was so reluctant to leave M'sia and we were comforting each other on9 yet we knew that how much we wished we could be in M'sia having fun and chilling out. Due to the cold weather and depression( i think so), she's sick now and i hope that she'll get well soon. Of course, i hope that it won't happen to me too cause it takes ages to heal if you are sick at AC.

All of the 1st years lifeguards were stunned by the announcement that the theory exam for PoolLifeGuard is in Feb. gosh..another thing that is bothering me now is my time swim. 400m in 7.30 mins----> the pratical requirement to be a beach lifeguard. Well, guess I have to swim like hell and train hard for the next few months!

Ruth and Gabor gave me back my english and physics exam paper and I'm quite pleased with the result. 6/7 for Eng. Lit is not what i expected cause i thought that i was writing crap in the exam. 51/56 for physics is good but i could have done better if i'm not careless.

Well, guess i'll stop here. Gotta get back to unpack my stuffs and go swimming later at 9 with Vivi. Hope tomorrow is a better day cause I just barely enjoyed one of the 133 days before my summer break.

Another day..

2007-01-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

Finally decided to sit down and started a blog which will accompany me for the rest of my life (at least i hope so cause i'm a lazy writer). 2 days more and i'll be going back to AC. My feelings are ambivalent now- thinking that i have to leave my home, to toil like a slave for the next 6 months, to swim and kayak in the cold water, to have not enough of sleep etc makes me down while on the other hand, I'm looking forward to see my AC frens and to chill out and hear interesting stories about their holidays.

My day started off with the appointment with MayMei at the curve and we met up with Tsae Yun, Suk Hui, Yee Shuang, Horng Sam and Ming. It was cool and fun to see them again and it's no doubt that they are really Soh Pos! ahha..and girls,I'm here to clarify that I'm not Homo and I have no hormone Imbalanced k! lolz.. In the evening, I drove to LWS sch and joined in their discussion about the concert. Vivid pictures of what had happened before, during and after the concert in 2005 flashed through my mind and I can't help it but to SIGH that i'm not able to partipate and perform in this upcoming concert. Listening to KH's and SC's songs made things even worse and how much I wished that I could still be in the composing class and have fun! aiks..talking about composing, I could hardly compose any songs lately.. My music sense seems to fade and I have no special feelings like before while listening to pop songs nowadays. Is sth wrong with me?

Argh..another thing that is bothering me now is the Eng Lit assignment! I am crossing my fingers that I'm able to finish it before I leave! Ruth wouldn't be happy if I have nothing to hand in..

kk..gotta sleep. and hopefully i can get the Rash Guard in 1u tomorrow. Or else, I would suffer hypothermia in Jan and Feb!